right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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