If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
