After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
