your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
