Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
