Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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