I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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