U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i need an iv and a liver transplant
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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