why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
3 2 1 whiskey
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
