I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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