You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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