she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
