I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
