i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
