He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
