1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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