you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
