I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
