I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
