How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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