dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So I just went to clothing optional bar
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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