Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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