is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
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I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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