Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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