She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
