He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
