i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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