I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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