did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
