We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Be still, my beating vagina.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
