So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
