I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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