my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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