Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
