I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
