You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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