He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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