Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
