My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
im on a boat
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