Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
