wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
