On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
