Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
how does that bad decision feel?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
