The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
