We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
