Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
