You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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