But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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