its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
