dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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