Your face is a jimmy john
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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