No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
