Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
