I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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