I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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