I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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