Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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