I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
