Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
